在你按“傳送”以前

前陣子一位好友在生氣之下寫了一封電郵（有關公事），寄出前要我幫她看一下，其實她真的有理由生氣（連我都替她生氣），但我說服她讓這封電郵沈澱個一、兩天再決定要不要寄出，當然她接受我的說法，事後也覺得沒寄出是對的。

在《Getting More》的第三個章節 Perception and Communication 內提到了有關 e-mail 的幾點建議，我列了幾項與上面情況有關的建議給朋友，她覺得很受用。我並不是說在這方面我很厲害，相反的，我的情緒也是發作得很快，所以也要常常用以下幾點提醒自己。這些建議雖是用英文寫的，但都很簡單很容易懂，如果你曾經或常常氣頭上寫了事後後悔的 e-mail，不妨看看。

§    Never send an e-mail based on your first reaction to one you've received. Most people know to avoid this, but too few people do it. You want to get it off your plate or save time. Actually, you will save more time by holding on to it and looking at it half an hour later than by sending it and spending hours or days correcting a misimpression.

§    Before sending the e-mail, reread it as the other person would read it in their foulest mood. Most e-mails come across as more aggressive than intended. You should think about the picture in their heads in the worst case. It will reduce risk.

§    Try never to send an e-mail if you are upset or angry. You will say things you didn’t mean to say. Write the e-mail if you wish, store it as a draft, and reread it later.

§    Try to keep your e-mail short. E-mails are not the best place to make complex proposals that take a lot of time to review. If you need to send a report, enclose it as an attachment; note the time frame in which you would appreciate a read. This is sensitive to their time and avoids their putting their hand to their forehead and saying, “Oh geez, another long e-mail!”

§    If you are writing a particularly sensitive e-mail, have a colleague or friend review it before you send it. A fresh pair of eyes usually helps.

§    If you have to send the e-mail and you are in a bad mood, take yourself out of the equation. Start the e-mail by saying, “I’m in a really mood, so please forgive the tone,” or whatever else needs forgiving.